


The Meaning of a Heartbeat

by benperor-ren (winterelf86)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, I haven't written anything in two years please forgive me and I hope I filled the prompt, Injury, Some angst, with a sprinkle of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-18 04:03:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13673880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterelf86/pseuds/benperor-ren
Summary: Ben Solo and Rey still share a Force bond, much to the other's annoyance. But when Hux stages a coup and orders a strike on the Resistance, resulting in a greivously injured Rey, Ben must act quickly or lose his other half. It would be silence he could not bear.





	The Meaning of a Heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dokusa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dokusa/gifts).



> I haven't written anything in two years. I hope I did this some justice!

Ben Solo stood in his throne room, brooding and gazing at the wall. The bright red searing his eyes and thoughts. His mind focused on the one person in his life who had mattered to him, the one person he could spill all of his lingering thoughts and dark secrets to without judgment. Now that person had left him. After all the intimacy they built up between the two of them she still left.

His fist clenched thinking about how she left him unconscious and escaped, joining her friends to fight for the Resistance. It had always been the Resistance, a plague that never went away, weaving its way into his life and destroying it. It tore him apart from his mother, and now it tore him away from the girl who brought out the compassion buried deep within him.

While his dark thoughts raced through his mind he felt her. The Force was connecting them, and this time he didn’t want to see her, not with him like this. His anger still simmered and he feared his words might hurt her.

Ben’s eyes wandered to the other end of the room where she stood, a beacon of light among the dark shadows. Ben swallowed, her beauty stunning him. Rey kept her hair half down and the same clothing he remembered donned her figure. The anger apparent in her features did not go unnoticed but it did not mar her beauty, only accentuated it.

She stomped over to him, her brows creased with fury. “Now is not the time!”

“You know we can’t control this. I’m not exactly thrilled to see you at an inopportune moment either!” He didn’t mean those words, but at times he felt compelled to match her hostility.

Rey blinked back the tears forming, her lashes already wet. His words had cut her deep. Her heart pounded in her chest as his eyes bore into her. They did not part on good terms, but she did not expect him to grow cold to her.

“I-I know. I just-”

“Just what?” He stopped her mid sentence, darkness clouding his eyes. “You thought your pretty face would seduce me back to the light? Now you see how wrong you were, how you’re ashamed you couldn’t turn me into an ally to end this war?”

“No, I thought that perhaps we’d be together despite our respective sides. But you’re too stubborn and set in your ways to see reason. That’s why I left you.”

He stepped back, anger coiling within his chest, ready to explode. He opened his mouth to say something harsh to cut through her, but the bond dissipated, leaving him alone.

On the other side of the galaxy Rey closed her eyes, desperate to shut out the vision of Ben Solo scowling at her, hurling insults at her. Rey knew the Force bond did not sever completely when she shut the Millenium Falcon door in his face.

She hoped to see him again after the endless, lonely nights following their falling out. However, the anger resonating between the two had been intense. Ben’s fury shook her to her core, making her chest ache.  

Rey walked to her bed and curled up on the mattress, a position she adopted since childhood, when she only relied on herself. The thin mattress scratched at her skin, making her itch, and her back ached as the bedding dug into her spine. After tossing and turning for what seemed like an hour her eyes became heavy, as if dirt had been poured underneath her eyelids. Rey closed her eyes only to find restless sleep and a chill that cut to the bone.

* * *

 

The next morning Rey woke to beams of sunlight shining in her face. She lifted her hand to ease the brightness that drew her from an uneasy slumber. Rey had forgotten they stayed on Kashyyyk overnight to replenish their supplies and work on maintenance repairs if needed. Her thoughts also raced to the Force bond moment between her and Ben. Rey’s heart dropped remembering the animosity that had grown between them, it burned brighter than it had during their battle in the snow. The intensity of the passion and fire brewing scared her.

She shrugged off those feelings, determined to get her day started on a brighter note. If she moped any longer then nothing would get done. Rey cleaned up in the fresher and donned her typical desert clothes. She took a deep breath and exited the Falcon to do a routine exterior checkup.

Sunlight did not wake Kylo. The subtle tendrils of the Force tickling his mind as Rey roused dragged him from the blissful blackness of sleep. He required a moment to collect his thoughts, but once the fog left his mind he shot up into a sitting posture. Their Force bond had never been strong enough to sync them into waking, the sensation riveting and new. A mix of intrigue, excitement, and despaired whirled through his head, making it ache.

The thought of the bond strengthening exhilarated him, but also intimidated him. A stronger Force bond meant he would commune with her regularly, but that frequency could also annoy her and create more resentment.

He sat on the edge the bed, waiting for a connection to manifest. He felt her signature, slight but present. Rey’s Force signature became a thread and then disappeared. A sigh escaped his lips, disgruntled that his day did not start the way he hoped.

He nearly laughed. What a besotted fool he was, still pining after her. He should be furious still, wanting to crush her the way she crushed his heart. When he felt her light in the Force, his hostile thoughts wavered. Rey was the best thing that had happened to him, but she was also a thorn in his side. She made the conflict within him grow and pull him apart. It was infuriating.

“Supreme Leader…”

Ben jumped at the sound of Hux’s voice, cursing under his breath. That red-headed weasel will find himself at the other end of his lightsaber before long, Ben thought to himself. Ben was nearing the threshold of his tolerance for that shrill voice.

“What?” Ben snarled.

“You need to come see this.”

He groaned and grabbed his black clothing, armbands and all. Stormtroopers and maintenance crew cleared a path for him as he strode down the hall to the bridge, black robes trailing behind him like a dark pool of water.

Hux stood by a control panel, his face firm and unreadable. As Kylo neared him, a smirked played upon his face. Ben’s heart dropped, Hux was up to something.

“What is going on?” Ben’s voice was low, threatening. He didn’t like the look on Hux’s face.

“We found the remaining members of the Resistance. They’re hiding on Kashyyyk. Now would be the time to crush them once and for all when they’re recuperating and rebuilding their supplies.”

Ben felt the bile rise in his throat. Rey would be there, and this screaming fool had him backed into a corner. The smirk on Hux’s smarmy face told him the bastard knew Rey rested on that planet. Moments passed before Ben had the ability to speak while Hux and the other officers on the bridge waited for their Supreme Leader’s response.

“Supreme Leader?” Hux’s annoying voice rung his ears.

They knew. Everyone on this bridge knew that Ben had lied about Rey killing and their new Supreme Leader had been hiding something important from them. Ben mouth felt dry, the words stuck in his throat.

“I- it’s too soon. They’ll-”

“They will what, Supreme Leader? Their supplies are low, they have been found, and best of all that girl is with them. We can take her and the Resistance out in one strike. What is the problem?”

Dead silence.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I think our Supreme Leader is emotionally compromised. If this didn’t convince you then perhaps this surveillance footage will.”

Not long after the public viewing of Snoke’s murder Ben ignited his lightsaber, the blade buzzing with its signature purr as he whirled it over his head, striking the closest stormtrooper. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Hux enter the elevator, disappearing from the inevitable chaos.

More stormtroopers descended on him. Panic threatened to control his mind, but he maintained his calm. If he failed or did not push past the stormtroopers fast enough Rey would perish.

The thought made him sick, but determination won and he fought through the crowd of stormtroopers, swinging the lightsaber in furious slashes to carve a path to the escape shuttle. The lightsaber buzzed in his ears as the stormtroopers fell around him.

Ben reached the shuttle, taking a mere few seconds to catch his breath before taking off. He watched the star destroyer shrink in size as his shuttle gained distance, but his eyes grew wide with horror as he watched the TIE fighters exit the destroyer to descend on the planet.

He was too late.

Rey would be dead in minutes. The thought made his chest ache. Is this how his mother felt when he killed Han? More guilt made his stomach churn and he wanted nothing more than to die, just to stop this pain. Ben slumped in his chair while his mind dashed through all the ways he could save Rey and murder Hux. First and foremost, he needed to warn her. Damn this Force bond for connecting when it wanted to, and not when they needed it to.

* * *

 

The last of the maintenance rounds were finished and Rey wiped the sweat off her brow. BB-8 beeped happily as he followed Rey around the Millenium Falcon. She was so preoccupied with cleaning the mess she made that she didn’t notice the First Order fleet entering the atmosphere.

BB-8 sounded the alarm, making her look up right before she saw the blaster beams fire from the star destroyer. At that moment she heard Ben’s panicked voice ring in her head.

_“Run!”_

Instinct took over and she yelled out the warning to her friends. That bastard, how dare he order a strike on them and then warn her. What kind of fool does that?

Her thoughts turned to immediate panic when she felt a searing pain shoot down her side. She felt something wet seep into her clothing and cling to the fresh wound. Dizziness overcame her as she lost a substantial amount of blood. Her knees buckled underneath her, and the shouts coming from Poe and Finn seemed far away and fading. Before darkness took her she heard the anguished screams of her other half.

“Rey?”

Silence.

“Rey?”

Ben’s erratic heartbeat fluttered in his chest, fear overwhelming him. He felt, no heard, her heartbeat slowing, a strong contrast to the vise gripping his own. Ben descended to the planet, his focus on her diminishing life. His breathing slowed in an attempt to not lose control and he eased the shuttle into an open field near Rey but out of view from his enemies.

A shuttle landed near the war torn battle site. The Millenium Falcon blasted to smithereens, parts strewn across the grass. The survivors tended to the injured, some in the open field while others were kept in the Wookie treehouses. Ben kept an eye out for Rey’s Force signature while hiding his face under a hood. If the Resistance noticed him here he’d be a dead man walking. Her heartbeat was faint, but still traceable. That alone gave him hope.

She was in the treehouse ahead of him.

As soon as he stepped in Finn and Poe pulled their blasters, but not before Ben waved his hand and they collapsed on the wooden floor in a deep slumber. Rey needed to leave this place before the traitor and the snarky pilot woke up, they would fight him and put her life in further danger. He felt her heart flutter, she barely hung on.

Ben gathered her quickly into his arms, left the treehouse, and wandered towards the shuttle. He settled her on a soft cot. His calm shattered as he heard her heart flutter once more and stop.

Ben had never tapped into this power before. He could fully corrupt his soul, as a Dark Sider, by trying this as he would need the full potential of his alignment. There was no debate, he couldn’t lose his other half.

Ben focused his energy on Rey’s wound, feeling the blood vessels, muscle, sinew, and skin knit back together. He felt her heart revive and gain a more stable beat. Rey’s breathing steadied.

In a few short moments her eyes fluttered open and she gazed upon Ben’s face. Startled and confused, she sat straight up, her eyes locked on Ben.

“Wh-what happened? Did you shoot at us?” Rey bared her teeth, anger flashing in her eyes.

Oh, how he loved it.

She raised a hand to strike him but he grabbed her wrist, pulling it to his chest.

“No. Hux ordered that strike. He tried to take me prisoner and he paid careful attention to you to hurt me.”

Rey relaxed her hand against his chest, casting her eyes down. “I-I thought you wanted me dead.” A tear slipped down her cheek and Ben’s thumb brushed it away.

“Never, Rey. I could never lose you. I felt your heartbeat slipping, and I knew I would not be able to handle the silence for the rest of my days. I love you.”

More tears spilled down Rey’s cheeks. “ I love you too.”

She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. The sensation exquisite and he kissed back, pulling her to him. They sat in bliss, overcome with emotion and a sense of never wanting to part from each other again.


End file.
